Would you rather...

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Movie Critique #4: 300

"This is madness!"
"Madness? This IS SPARTA!!!"

The "300" is a winner in every respect. It catches your attention right off the get-go with a story about the ferocity of the main character, King Leonidas. Leonidas was raised in the traditional fashion, he was beaten and broken by his elders, trained to fear nothing, and never to give up. As the story about his childhood unfolds, you find out that Leonidas has something inside of him, something that can only be described as complete fearlessness. When approached by a full grown wolf when he was no more than 12 years old, he uses an intricate war strategy to get an advantage over the wolf and defeat him.

Over 30 years later, Leonidas becomes King of Sparta and starts off with a scene of him training his own son to become a Spartan Warrior and King. He tells his son to always fight with Respect and Honor. He then comes out of the fighting chamber only to be approached by a Persian emissary. The Persian emissary demands only two things for his King, Xerxes, land and water. He demands that the Spartans give King Xerxes land and water to show him that he will submit to King Xerxes. Of course, King Leonidas and the ideals of the Spartan empire, he declines the offer with this short segment of the scene:

[King Leonidas pulls a knife on the Persian Emissary]
Persian Emissary: "This is madness!"
King Leonidas: "Madness?"
[Leonidas looks toward his wife who gives him a nod of the head]
King Leonidas: "This is Sparta!"
[Leonidas kicks the Persian Emissary into a bottomless pit along with his Persian Guards]

After killing the Persian Emissary and his guards, King Leonidas unofficially claims war with the Persians. So King Leonidas must go to the top of the mountain and speak with ancient priests that guard the Oracle. The Oracle tells him that the Spartans will not go to war. So, King Leonidas takes 300 of his greatest warriors and takes what he describes to a sceptic politician as a "stroll north."

Following this first 30-45 minutes of the movie comes the next hour and a half of almost non-stop war between 300 Spartans and 1,000,000 Persians. After the first two waves of attack, and two defeats for the Persians, King Xerxes, who also refers to himself as a god, comes to King Leonidas to explain to him that he will not win the war. Xerxes tells Leonidas that he need only to kneel before him and Xerxes will call off the war. He basically sweet talks Leonidas, telling him that Sparta will still be the grandest empire of all, but will be under the rule of Xerxes. Keeping along with his bold sense of humor, Leonidas tells Xerxes that he would kneel to him, but he cramped a leg muscle in battle and now he can't find the strength to kneel.

If you want to know what else happens you will definitely have to watch the movie. Let me just say that of all of the other movies in this genre, (Gladiator, Troy, Kingdom of Heaven), "300" is by far the best. It has the best action scenes ever created, and keeps the audience wanting to come back for more.

Things that I would change: There is a close-up shot of a horse riding in the beginning, and it kicks dirt up into the camera, but you can tell that the dirt is CG, and very poorly done CG too. Another thing is the blood. There was enough to keep it realistic, but half of the blood just looked terrible, like they didn't take very much time making in look real, and the other half of the blood looked amazing. If they would have stuck with the second method of "bloodying" the set, that would have probably been best.

Now that you have heard what I have to say about the movie, please, go and watch it yourself and let me if you agreed or disagreed with my Critique on the "300". Overall Rating:
9.7/10

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Movie Critique Plans

Thanks to Jonathan Garcia, I am now going to do my Movie Critiques on new movies. That means 2 things: 1) I will be very poor for a while, and 2) I won't be able to post as often. So here's the plan, I will try to watch a new movie in theatres every 2 weeks. So that means on some day that will be determined in the future, such as a Saturday, I will update my blog with a Movie Critique on a New movie. Thank you for your idea Jonathan. I may also update my blog randomly here and there just for fun, so we'll see what happens. Up soon (possibly) a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Critique (because my beautiful girlfriend suggested it)... Thanks babe!

Shane

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Movie Ideas...

Could you guys possible let me know what movie I should critique next? I'm running dry on ideas. Thanks for the help.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Movie Critique #3: Shaun of the Dead

Shaun of the Dead

To start this off, let's talk a bit about the overall feel of the movie. Shaun of the Dead is a horror/comedy placed in London with essentially 3 main characters. Shaun, a 29 year old electronics salesman who can never seem to get things right. He messes up things at work, he has a bad relationship with one of his housemates, and on top of that, for he and his girlfriend's 3 year anniversary, they went to the Winchester (a pub that they frequent). Shaun's girlfriend, Lizzie, is a... well she's an... um... a... uhhh... girlfriend? You don't really get to know what Lizzie does (or maybe you do and I'm just not observant enough). The third main character in this movie is Ed. Now Ed, he's a... um... well he does... actually, he sells small amounts of pot for a little extra cash. Other than that he just lives with Shaun free of charge.

So, to start off the movie, Shaun and Lizzie are having a conversation at (you guessed it) the pub. A seemingly normal conversation in which they talk about not spending enough time together. At that moment you realize that not only does Ed follow Shaun everywhere, but two of Lizzie's friends follow her around everywhere, and all they end up doing is going to The Winchester! Shaun has a couple of chances to redeem himself but doesn't, so he and Lizzie break-up. The rest of the movie is filled with a bunch of silly coincidences and has you chuckling to yourself for the first 30-45 minutes because of the way that they set up ironic situations.

Then come the zombies. There is kind of a struggle not to say the word zombie in the movie, which makes the point of it very funny. Here is a bit of dialogue between Shaun and Ed. (Shaun's words in bold, Ed's words in Italics)

"I think its clear."
"Any zombies out there?"
"Don't say that!"
"What?"
"That!"
"What?"
"The zed-word, don't say it."
"Why not?"
"Because it's ridiculous!"
"Well... are there any?"
"I don't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that. Oh, no, wait, there they are."

This hilarious back and forth between Shaun and Ed is only one of what seems an endless battle between Shaun and Ed (as friends of course). One of the minor characters comments on the nature of Shaun and Ed's relationship by calling Ed Shaun's boyfriend.

[about Ed] He's not my boyfriend!
[handing beer to Shaun] It might be a bit warm, the cooler was off.
Thanks, babe. [Shaun winks]

Basically, the story goes: Shaun breaks up with Lizzie. Shaun and Ed are confronted with the task of rescuing Shaun's mother, step-father, ex-girlfriend, and his ex-girlfriends two best friends. Throughout the movie (as can be expected from horror) several people die quite grotesquely. One man is torn completely apart when a group of... um... zombies grabs him and tears out his insides then dismembers him. It might sound gross, but... well I guess it is gross. This movie is not for the faint of heart because there is definitely blood (in excess) as well as the use of the "F" word at least 20 times.

All in all I would definitely recommend this movie to anyone with a sense of humor, or a soul. Use extreme caution when renting this movie as you may be tempted to not return it to the rental store! Overall Rating: 9.8/10


Shane Yetter

Friday, February 23, 2007

Movie Critique #2: The Fly

The Fly

To start this critique off, I am going to talk about some of the plot. Seth Brundle (played by Jeff Goldblum) is a scientist at least 50 years ahead of his time. In The Fly, Dr. Brundle has created a way of transporting inanimate objects from one "Telepod" to another using teleportation. The problem with this is that he can only teleport inanimate objects. He puts a baboon in one telepod, and teleports it across the room, only to be surprised with an inside-out baboon in the second telepod. Showing his newest invention to Veronica
Quaife (Gina Davis), they begin on a journey of a better understanding of the telepods, turning the movie into a love story with a very tragic ending.

Dr. Brundle obsessed with teleportation, teleports himself (after perfecting the process of course) from one telepod to the next. When he comes out the other side, he appears to be relatively unharmed, except that he was teleported with a fly. DNA from the fly combined with his DNA, causing him to undergo changes. At first, the changes are great, and include super strength, super sexual stamina, and an ability to climb on walls. After that point, and Veronica finding out she's pregnant, Dr. Brundle's body begins to break down, and he becomes unable to move around properly, or even eat.

At the mind bending climax of this film, Dr. Brundle (also known at this point as Brundle-Fly), completely breaks down revealing a grotesque combination of half-man, half-fly completely obsessed now not only with teleportation, but with complete genetic combination. Now, the life of the ones he loves are in his hands, but now he has claws...

Jeff Goldblum plays a brilliant scientist (as usual) in the 1986 remake of The Fly. The original was clearly outdated, and is easily surpassed by this adaptation of the movie by David Cronenberg. Jeff Goldblum has been in such movies as: Jurassic Park (I and II), Holy Man, and Independence Day. Setting aside the fact that Jeff Goldblum just happens to be one of my favourite actors in the world, he is amazing in The Fly. He plays a genious, a creep, and eventually a freakin' crazy weirdo throughout the movie, and does it all flawlessly.

Gina Davis plays a science magazine journalist enthralled by Seth Brundle's telepods, and begins filming his every move with the project. Gina Davis is brilliant as a love-addicted, but independent woman searching for her big break. As it is in the 1958 version of The Fly, she is left with the choice of whether or not she should help "The Fly" commit suicide. She makes the same choice in both movies, so no surprise there.

The Fly is by far one of my favourite (and by favourite, I mean top 5) horror movies of all time. There is almost no comparison, it captivates from the beginning, terrifies throughout, and makes you tear up at the end. It is THE perfect horror film ever made. Kudos go to David Cronenberg for his brilliant masterpiece. Overall Rating: (no surprise here)
10/10!

Thank you for reading my critique on The Fly, please stay tuned for other critiques as time goes on.

Shane

Saw 3 Critique (First Critique!)

This is my first critique ever, so when you read it, take note of things that you like, or things that could be better. Comment me on your critique of my critique... Thanks!

Saw 3

Saw 3 was, of course compared to the first two, not actually too bad. When comparing it to classic horror films such as The Fly, Nightmare on Elm Street, and The Shining, I think it will be easy to see that Saw 3 will not go in the record books as being a classic by any means. Although it may never become a classic horror film, I do think that it is important to take it as it is, incredibly creepy.

As it was in the first two Saw movies, everything that happens in this one could possible happen in real life. The reality horror genre movies have never been incredibly popular due to a lack of creativity, but Saw 3 brings a lot of intricately produced scenarios, as well as very realistic ways of making a person die painfully/horribly. By far the most gruesome death in the movie (of course from my perspective) is a scene where our protagonist walks into a freezer, and chained in the middle of the freezer is a young woman clad in the classic horror movie attire, nude. When given his directive, the protagonist must then choose to harm himself to save her, or to let her die, either way he is going to live so the choice is totally up to him. The way that she is going to be killed is by being sprayed at about 10 second intervals with ice cold water. The idea is that the water will start to freeze to her body and she will die. Well, after our protagonist tries his hardest to help her, she becomes completely encased in at least 2 inches thick of ice. He can't unlock the chains because they're frozen, and she is surely dead.

Now to tell you the truth, that is probably the least gruesome part of the movie, but the creepiness of it is off the scales. To give this movie an overall rating would be most divine, but to properly get a feel of this movie, it must be watched at least once. To tell you the truth, Saw 3 will not go into my collection of "Favourite Movies", or even my random DVD collection, but it is definitely worth spending $3 to rent and watch once. Just be sure not to let the graphicness (because it is more bloody than the first two Saw movies combined) melt your soul from the inside out... Overall Rating:
6.5/10

Thank you for participating in my very first movie review ever. Please continue to look for random movie reviews periodically, or at least until I figure out a system (such as weekly, or bi-weekly). Thank you again for your comments and your honesty.

Shane

Movie Critiques?

This post is of course assuming that Kaylee doesn't mind me stealing her idea. I think that I am going to critique movies on this page. If I see a new movie, I will critique it, if I don't get to see any new movies, then I will critique an older one that I have seen. I do believe that this could very well be my blog calling... or should I say blogling? hmmmm... But we will see how it goes, if I decide to do that, I will choose Saw 3 to be the first movie I critique. I won't do the Prestige because, well, I just won't, watch it yourselves...

With All Due Respect!

Shane

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Blaze`

Not much going on... I'm boring... thats all for now, perhaps an update later...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Life?

This is pretty short, and relatively private... So I won't be saying much...

My life up to this point has been amazing, but I seem to be trying to fudge it up all over the place... I'm hurting the ones I love, and being lazy left and right....

Today is a new day, new opportunities, and I'm taking full advantage of any second chances I might be getting today...

Pray For Me!!!

Shane

Monday, February 19, 2007

Anna Nicole's Body... Wanted?

Why in the hell is everyone fighting over Anna Nicole's body? Less than a year ago she was nasty, and she probably couldn't have paid anyone for a sexual experience, but now that she's skinny (and more importantly dead), everyone is fighting for a stake in her body!!! Give it to her parents, or next of kin... seriously, they've been embarrassed by the antics of Anna Nicole for WAY too many years, and I think that they should be able to bury her once and for all, and take all of her money, and do whatever the hell they want with it... seriously... But decide for yourself, watch the video...


Scroll down a little ways and click on the picture of Anna Nicole, the title above her head will read: Courtroom Showdown

Blech...

Well, I'm in a totally whatever mood right now... I don't know whats up... I'm not really tired, Kaylee is because she's passed out 3 feet away from me right now... I guess she must not have slept well last night... I took my car to the body shop this morning. Kaylee came with to bring me back. It had like, $400 worth of damage to it, not really a big deal. The other girls car (the one that hit me), her car is totaled... Hurray for Sports Utility Vehicles. Thats all for now, it looks like Kaylee might wake up in a bit, so I want to be ready to give her a hug when she does... :)

"No sarcastic remark here today..."

Shane

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sleep is meant for the weary... or dead.

So yeah... If you read this blog, would you please comment on it so that I know who all is reading my blog? Thanks Guys!!!

I had an average day today, and it was average, and thats all. I slept for 14 hours last night because I took sleeping pills to help me get to sleep faster, and sleep deeper, well, after 8 and 1/2 hours I woke up (and just as a note, you're supposed to have about 8 hours of sleep when taking sleeping pills), but I was still just completely exhausted.

So I got up, came downstairs and helped Kaylee with her fish (sad day), and I could barely keep my eyes open. So, I went back upstairs and went to sleep, only to wake back up at 2 p.m. by a phone call from a very attractive young lady (Kaylee)... If she hadn't woken me up, I'm sure I would have ended up sleeping for another couple hours at least. Those pills weren't supposed to make me sleep for that long, but they did.

So, thats about all that I have for today... Again... If you read this blog, please comment on it so I know who all is reading my blog. Thanks!!!

"I live in a Giant Bucket"

Shane

Friday, February 16, 2007

The blood runs from the open vein...

I donated blood today (so no I'm not being creepy with my post title). Kaylee came with, it was fun. Her hemoglobin was just barely too low, so she couldn't donate, but she watched me anyway. She had fun, so did I. Because we're in love. Or at least thats how it feels (because we are).

I don't really have a whole lot to say at this point. I added quite a few of my friends from back in Junior High to facebook, so thats good. One of my friends (Ashley), her boyfriend went to San Diego on a Summer Project just like me. He went the same summer, but on a shorter project in a different location in San Diego, but I probably saw him at one point. The crazy thing is that I'm in Nebraska, and Ashley's from up in Washington, and so is her boyfriend. The world is just too small for the likes of me.

There is a really loud noise coming from Kaylee's window right now, and its sorta creepin' me out. Perhaps I'll go all Sherlock Holmes on it and figure it out for myself. hmmm... Sounds like a plan. I think I'm gonna go check out the Strong Bad emails, see if there's a new one. Have fun guys and gals, and always enjoy... the enjoyment... of enjoying... stuff....

"Tuesday's coming, did you bring your coat?"
Shane

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Hot Wings and Dr. Pepper with Chocolate?

First: I have had the most amazing couple of days ever (except that I haven't slept in days, haha). Kaylee and I have been hanging out almost non-stop since... well... since we actually started dating. We were apart for 1 day, and thats it so far. Thats definitely ok with me. We only have 9 hours and 40 minutes left until we've been dating for 1 month! One month without fighting. One month without regrets. One month without being told that I'm not good enough, and that I need to change who I am. (If you can't tell, I'm totally writing about a previous relationship). Kaylee is the most amazing person in the world, so today's blog, entitled: Hot Wings and Dr. Pepper with Chocolate?, goes out to her. I love you sweetheart. I can't imagine being with anyone else, ever.

Next: I told my younger brother that I would go to his district wrestling tournament yesterday, but I had a rough night, and wasn't up in time. And to keep a long story short, there was a huge drama with my mom and my brother in which my mother made me feel like a worthless piece of steamy dog crap (even though she swears that she didn't mean to). Its been on my mind a lot (as in all day yesterday and today). I really wanted to be there for my little brother, but I couldn't make it. Oh well, I guess some things are just out of my control.

Lastly: I've been worrying a lot about school and stuff lately. I've fallen pretty far behind and I'm afraid that if I don't catch up then I'll be kicked out of school. My parents would be so pissed. I'm hoping that I'll get caught up, and show my parents that I'm not a huge loser. But we'll see what happens.

Conclusion: I love Kaylee Allyn Ferree with all of my heart. I'm stressed about the drama at home. I'm worried about school. I love Kaylee... oh wait. I said that already, but its so true. Goodbye for now fellow bloggers... or something.

"I live in a Giant Bucket"
Shane

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Sitting Here

This is your friendly neighborhood... Shane. I'm feeling a little silly right now, but mostly just feeling lonely. I guess Kaylee will be out of class in about an hour, so that'll be good. But I'm still bored out of my mind until then. I'm totally messing around on her computer (in her brand new room of course), haha. Today is good, no classes so I can't complain too much. I'm tired, maybe I'll take a nap. I ate too much at lunch, the hamburger was excellent though. It went as follows (from the bottom up) : bottom bun, hamburger patty, provolone cheese, Colby Jack cheese, 2 slices of swiss cheese, hamburger patty (again), onions, top bun. It was amazing. But now I have onion breath... Oh well, nothing a little toothbrushing won't fix of course. Thats all for today... Leave me a little comment... and I'll leave you a little comment back!

Kaylee

This post is everything that Kaylee is:

Amazing
Loving
Kind
Caring
Compassionate
Passionate
Patient
Bold
Heavenly
Affectionate
Considerate
Faithful
Romantic
Generous
Warm-Hearted
Sympathetic
Devoted
Inspired
Tender
Steadfast
Calm
Adorable
and Perfect

Love - Shane

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Ooooogie... Booooogie...

This is the first time... I have ever written... such a deviant piece... of holy moley... Just Kidding!!! I had Xanga for a while... but that stuff blows. So yeah... Check me out!!! No really, check me out... I had a... good? day today... It can't be too terrible because I'm in love with the most gorgeous woman alive. She makes me feel like I'm worth something, and that makes all the difference. My TE class went pretty smoothly today. It went by really quickly actually. I don't have class tomorrow, so maybe I'll finally clean my room or something. I can't wait until my sweetheart makes me cookies... hip hip hurray for Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies!!! (and for loving supporting girlfriends too).